The black spider walks on my green wall. Searching for the unknown, the next hunt. The steady head, the infinite legs and that ugliness, creeps in me. I see it crawling, pacing those gaps, closing in, conquering the vast green forest which lay upon it.
I get the urge to squash it, to devour it, send him to the gates of Valhalla!
To feel like God, the creator, the destroyer.
To free it from its powerless, miserable existence, to exercise my choice.
“Don’t you know, spider, I am a free being”, top of the food chain, already massacred millions, the unwanted child. Don’t doubt my capabilities to cause mayhem and chaos, not even for one moment.
“It’s the easy and the best way out”, I mouth to myself and to the creature.
It crawls further away from me.
I wonder what is it searching for? Maybe a window to escape or a corner to web those lies, trap the meeker prey, showcase its prowess.
“Enough”, I say to myself, “I will show you my prowess”. I get up, the movement itself is filled with violence. I clutch my fist of fury and plunge it through him and the wall. My eye glistens with unadulterated venom. I am bright, I am aware. Never felt so alive. “Shiver in my presence, green wall, shiver”. As my breathing slows down, I come about my surroundings. The red goo from the spider, escapes slowly, through my impact in a straight line. The color is the darkest red that I have ever seen. The hatred, disgust and wrath leave my body as I undo my fist.
What is left of its existence? Of its 8 legs and 2 eyes? Nothing! Only this moment, when I went against this feeble arthropod and made its existence worthwhile.
I take a step back to watch the spectacle fully, sardonically laughing and furiously shouting
“Call the medic, call the ambulance, it’s a crime scene, it’s a CRIME SCENE”
Suddenly, bell rings, I lose focus. I go about my business. The memory of the moment on that green wall fades away. Days become night, night become weeks and years. And then when I am about to kiss the final goodbye and the casket is closing, I see the same spider circling around me with its web, the symphonies of chelicerae, calling out its friends, much larger, ready to repay my debt, ready to create its masterpiece.